You don’t need a PhD in marital counseling to know that perceptions about who is, and isn't, pulling their weight around the house can fuel some pretty heated “discussions” (although it helps if a PhD has written a
related article).
eM and I both like the house tidy but I’m way more detail oriented than she is (believe me, it's a curse). I used to occasionally get ticked off because I didn’t perceive that eM was doing her fair share of the housework. What I finally realized was that she wasn't slacking, in fact eM works her ass off, she just wasn’t noticing the same things I was noticing so they weren’t a priority for her like they were for me.
And eM was doing lots of other things for the team, like managing our household cash flow and all of the grocery shopping, things I wasn't thinking about while I was focused on the cleanliness of a particular room.
There were also occasions when eM thought I was taking care of a task and I thought she had it covered. As you can imagine, hilarity ensued.
So, once again, eM and I saw eye to eye on the need for a plan. Here’s how we went about taking all the ambiguity out of our household division of labor...